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But the aspect of our love that I’m most grateful for is that I’m finally loved because of my Afro-Caribbean heritage, not in spite of it.

Still, at times I feel ashamed for dating outside my race.

But I’ve long known that there is no such thing as a perfect partner. Along the way, I’ve dated white guys who wanted to learn about blackness; white guys who pretended my blackness didn’t exist; a Jewish guy who was well-meaning but politically infuriating; and a Honduran man who promptly ditched me for my best friend.White guys will never love you like black guys, they would say.I resented those comments, believing that my love should not be bound to the color of my skin or anyone else’s.Meanwhile, throughout high school and college, the few black men I knew found my blackness as subpar to theirs.As time passed, I realized that being black didn’t mean I had to look or act a certain way.

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