Being friends after dating

I finally brought this up and he conceded that no, he didn’t want to be just friends.

Be sure you actually want to be her friend…not something less.

The whole piece of “let’s stay friends” after a breakup, while often sincere, is impossible to do immediately after a breakup.

Now, how long should you leave your now-ex alone for?

There are all kinds of rubrics out there, but I say minimum two weeks, but preferably closer to six for a total social media/texting blackout.

There is also the question of scarcity of queer community, and of shared history with the people your ex connected you to, and the trouble of re-organizing your social structure and routine in the aftermath of a breakup.

There are lots of reasons to not want to rock the boat and just fold up the messy feelings and carry on in whatever way seems easiest to everyone around you.

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